Thursday, March 26, 2009

Book Report


In middle school, I became a huge fan of KoRn. As an impressionable 12-year-old who was trying to figure herself out, the band offered me an identity. I didn't have to fawn over the Backstreet Boys like all the girls at my school, and I didn't have to turn to Hanson just to be different (because, let's face it, the two weren't ever all that different). I could listen to KoRn and other rock bands and be all cool and alternative. And while I don't make it a point to be freaky and different anymore, I like to think that my love for alternative interests has stuck with me, so - silly as it may be - I give a lot of credit to KoRn for helping me become the quirky, lovable girl I am today.

For anyone who is not up on their current pop culture trivia, the lead guitarist of KoRn, Brian "Head" Welch, recently became a born-again Christian and published a book (Save Me From Myself) about his trials with KoRn and how he found God. Of course, since KoRn had had such an impact on my life, it only seems right that I read Head's book about KoRn's impact on his life.   

Let me start off by mentioning that I would not actually recommend this book to anyone. I love this guy Head and what he did for KoRn and all, but, considering that he graduated from high school long ago, I can't say that he's a good writer. 

Poor prose aside, Head's journey through his addiction to meth and his final commitment to God is interesting material to ponder. He gives an interesting description of speaking in tongues that certainly made me rethink the practice (as in, I don't think it's just people being crazy and yelling gibberish anymore, but instead, I think that those who partake in tongues are undergoing a legitimate religious experience). 

He also talks about how by turning his life around, he's lost his addiction to meth and is now addicted to God. He's living his whole life for God. Whatever Head might want for himself is irrelevant; the Lord makes his decisions for him, now. While I think it's great that Head has found something better to live for and is finally happy with his life, I don't agree with his kind of faith. I don't think that - if God truly created the world and we are each one of His children - His desire was for every person to devote her life to Him. I don't think that a desire such as that is love. I think it is entirely selfish and I don't think that this God should ever be described as "selfish."

Personally, I believe in some sort of God. Maybe it's just because I don't like the idea that we're out here in the universe on our own, or perhaps it's remnants from my nine years of Catholic schooling, but I don't think there's any way to truly rule out the possibility that a God exists. When I think of this God, though, I don't think that I need to live my life for him. I think of God as a parent, someone who loves me and wants me to make the right decisions and grow into a good person. Sure, I believe that God can punish me if I do something terribly wrong and I'll pray to God for things that are really important to me. However - just like my mom doesn't mind when I forget to thank her for all that she does - I don't think God gets her panties all in a bunch if I forget to pray every day. I think God created me (not in a creationism sense - I believe in evolution) so that I could have my own life, my own adventures, and my own happiness. I think that it's through my own experience of my life, which God hopes I live as a moral, upstanding person, that God finds happiness. Sure, I shouldn't kill anyone, but the decisions I make regarding what organized religion to follow (or not), or who to love, or whatever are part of the path I've forged for myself and I believe that God will support me in whatever endeavor I undertake.

So I think it's great that Head got himself out of his meth addiction and has found a love for God. But I think that attaching himself so completely to this God is also unhealthy. As far as I see it, Head is still trying to shirk responsibility for himself. As hard as it may be to take responsibility, I think that responsibility is part of what makes life so much more worthwhile. Personally, I think I've been given a life so that I can find my own happiness and self-worth. And maybe God will help me on that path, but she's not going to dictate it for me (nor should she) and she's not going to disown me for choosing a different one. I like to think she's got my back and she'll protect me and love me for who I am as her child and, more importantly, as an individual.

Sorry that turned into more of a sermon than a book report. I hope I don't sound preachy. Them's my thoughts, though.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So the time spent @ Pitzer yielding a philosophy degree has indeed produced an embodiment of personal growth including self-reflection and confident willingness to share with friends (and family) ~ readers of these 'adventures'. {a smile wisps through the old man's thoughts}

But then again, maybe it's just the effects of a cold rain in early spring and temporary residence coming to an abrupt end for the unemployed 'graduate'

Whatever ~ this entry is "interesting material to ponder"

First, as I lingered/loitered in the background, I observed Mr Head (boy does that name give a daddy chills up the back !) may have been exhibiting a portion of the later 'commitment' when he put the leash on that freak.

As to the 'sermon'(a word which has its own heavy religious connotations), just a few rather small aside (maybe a bit snide) comments.

Creationism vs evolution - doesn't evolution have to still have an initial CREATION that evolves ?

The 'selfishness' of GOD - perhaps that is more of a projection. Is GOD actively seeking happiness from each individual? Do parents seek some sort of repayment? No doubt they gain much 'positive energy' from the lives of their offsprings (is that the band that sang "Get a Job"?),as they too deal with the negatives.

"God hopes I live as a moral, upstanding person" - rather I think GOD defines "moral" and "upstanding".

"SHE" is there to guide you through the darkness when the gray areas are impossible to decode (yet I really, really never did like that "Footprints" poem -haha). Yes to 'parent' you in the adventures leading you to "find my own happiness and self-worth."

End of comments.

DISCLAIMER : Published as anonymous due to forgotten BLOGGER password and a hard drive failure and I am the Father* of the blogger. I apologize for any protocol improprieties and level of 'uncoolness' that my posting involves (OMG - POS ~ parent over shoulder~ NOT the other POS :)

* capitalization intentional for religious connotations.

In Love with Peace,

Prof. Tazreli