Thursday, March 26, 2009

Book Report


In middle school, I became a huge fan of KoRn. As an impressionable 12-year-old who was trying to figure herself out, the band offered me an identity. I didn't have to fawn over the Backstreet Boys like all the girls at my school, and I didn't have to turn to Hanson just to be different (because, let's face it, the two weren't ever all that different). I could listen to KoRn and other rock bands and be all cool and alternative. And while I don't make it a point to be freaky and different anymore, I like to think that my love for alternative interests has stuck with me, so - silly as it may be - I give a lot of credit to KoRn for helping me become the quirky, lovable girl I am today.

For anyone who is not up on their current pop culture trivia, the lead guitarist of KoRn, Brian "Head" Welch, recently became a born-again Christian and published a book (Save Me From Myself) about his trials with KoRn and how he found God. Of course, since KoRn had had such an impact on my life, it only seems right that I read Head's book about KoRn's impact on his life.   

Let me start off by mentioning that I would not actually recommend this book to anyone. I love this guy Head and what he did for KoRn and all, but, considering that he graduated from high school long ago, I can't say that he's a good writer. 

Poor prose aside, Head's journey through his addiction to meth and his final commitment to God is interesting material to ponder. He gives an interesting description of speaking in tongues that certainly made me rethink the practice (as in, I don't think it's just people being crazy and yelling gibberish anymore, but instead, I think that those who partake in tongues are undergoing a legitimate religious experience). 

He also talks about how by turning his life around, he's lost his addiction to meth and is now addicted to God. He's living his whole life for God. Whatever Head might want for himself is irrelevant; the Lord makes his decisions for him, now. While I think it's great that Head has found something better to live for and is finally happy with his life, I don't agree with his kind of faith. I don't think that - if God truly created the world and we are each one of His children - His desire was for every person to devote her life to Him. I don't think that a desire such as that is love. I think it is entirely selfish and I don't think that this God should ever be described as "selfish."

Personally, I believe in some sort of God. Maybe it's just because I don't like the idea that we're out here in the universe on our own, or perhaps it's remnants from my nine years of Catholic schooling, but I don't think there's any way to truly rule out the possibility that a God exists. When I think of this God, though, I don't think that I need to live my life for him. I think of God as a parent, someone who loves me and wants me to make the right decisions and grow into a good person. Sure, I believe that God can punish me if I do something terribly wrong and I'll pray to God for things that are really important to me. However - just like my mom doesn't mind when I forget to thank her for all that she does - I don't think God gets her panties all in a bunch if I forget to pray every day. I think God created me (not in a creationism sense - I believe in evolution) so that I could have my own life, my own adventures, and my own happiness. I think that it's through my own experience of my life, which God hopes I live as a moral, upstanding person, that God finds happiness. Sure, I shouldn't kill anyone, but the decisions I make regarding what organized religion to follow (or not), or who to love, or whatever are part of the path I've forged for myself and I believe that God will support me in whatever endeavor I undertake.

So I think it's great that Head got himself out of his meth addiction and has found a love for God. But I think that attaching himself so completely to this God is also unhealthy. As far as I see it, Head is still trying to shirk responsibility for himself. As hard as it may be to take responsibility, I think that responsibility is part of what makes life so much more worthwhile. Personally, I think I've been given a life so that I can find my own happiness and self-worth. And maybe God will help me on that path, but she's not going to dictate it for me (nor should she) and she's not going to disown me for choosing a different one. I like to think she's got my back and she'll protect me and love me for who I am as her child and, more importantly, as an individual.

Sorry that turned into more of a sermon than a book report. I hope I don't sound preachy. Them's my thoughts, though.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

You're So Silly, America!

Last weekend, a search through the Catonsville branch of the Baltimore County Public Library for some book title that has since been forgotten led me to a memoir-esque book detailing the adventures of two Englishmen as they crossed the US breaking numerous "dumb laws." Though the book initially sounded interesting, turns out they had plans only to break 25 laws total, and thus far have been unable to break at least 8 of them. The lack of truly interesting material can be forgiven, however, because this book has inspired me to do my own cross-country crime spree. Sure, it's unoriginal and cliche, but it sounds like such an adventure, I have to do it.

So, my tentative itinerary is as follows:

Maryland
1. Stand in a public park in a sleeveless shirt.
2-3. Curse and then spit on the sidewalk within Baltimore City limits.

New Jersey
4. Pass people without warning on the interstate.
5. Frown at a police officer.

New York
6-7. Stand on the street wearing "body hugging clothing" while greeting someone by putting my thumb to my nose and wiggling my fingers.
7-9. Eat an ice cream cone on the sidewalk while wearing high heels and standing next to a man in a jacket that does not match his pants in Carmel.

Pennsylvania
10. Sing in a bathtub.

Ohio
11. Wear patent leather shoes.

Michigan
12. Swear in front of a woman or child.

Wisconsin
13. Cut a woman's hair.
14. Wave a burning torch in the air.
15. Wear something red in public in St. Croix.
16. Put litter into someone else's trash receptacle without their express permission in Hudson.

Minnesota
17. Stand around outside a building with no good reason to be there.
18. Sleep naked.

North Dakota
19. Lie down and fall asleep with my shoes on.
20. Wear a hat while dancing in Fargo.

Montana
21. Go fishing alone.
22-23. Worry squirrels and throw hard objects by hand in Excelsior Springs.

Washington
24. Destroy the beer cask or bottle of someone else.
25. Eat a lollipop.

Oregon
26. Leave my car door open for longer than necessary.
27. Dry my dishes with a towel.
28. Eat a donut while walking backwards on a city street in Marion.
29. Walk around with my shoes untied in Portland.
30. Make someone think that their property may be subjected to "offensive physical contact" in Portland.

California
31-32. Drive while wearing a housecoat (or a robe) at speeds in excess of 60mph.
33. Kiss a man with a mustache in Eureka.
34. Wipe my car with used underwear in San Francisco.
35. Carry my lunch down the street between 11 and 1 in Riverside.
36. Hunt moths under a streetlight in LA.
37. Throw salt on the highway in Hermosa Beach.
38. Drive my car in reverse in Glendale.

There it is - 38 laws all within easy breaking range. Of course, this roadtrip follows my ideal route, but I'm up for any adventure, really. 

Now, all I need are companions for this journey. Preferably at least one man so that he can grow a mustache and kiss me. Who's ready?!